Delaney, my first, my oldest, is turning seven tomorrow. I’m boggled. Seven! I tell you, it truly feels like yesterday I was potty training her, stuck at home for naps, guiding her every step so that she didn’t bonk into sharp corners… And tomorrow, she’s seven.

She really has become a little lady. Actually, Delaney cultivates that change. She wants so badly to grow up. She watches teenagers, agog, star-struck by their worldliness and independence. And I think that is the reason she pushes and pulls me so much. I have come to call this phase, “Come here come here come here! Go away go away go away!” She wants me, and she wants to be free of me.

Delaney expresses herself with her clothing choices, loves curling her hair, and generally enjoys being a girl! Honestly, I am baffled often by her. But I try to honor it.

So, as she steps into this new age, I find myself grieving a bit for the little girl who used to be only “Come here!” and I try to enjoy the times when she is “Go away!”

But I do find myself soaking up and delighting in the little signs that my baby is still ‘in there.’ Yesterday, I hollered to have her come to the table and do homework. I waited as I heard jumping jumping jumping coming from her room and then Delaney emerged around the corner, hopping all the way from her room because… well, because it’s fun! It’s those moments that remind me that she is still my baby. She still hops.

Am I the only doting parent out there who thinks that reading with a new reader is akin to waterboarding?

I know I’m not the most patient person on the planet, but when it takes my 5-year-old a full minute to sound out the word, “can,” I nearly burst!

Sitting there on the couch with her, we are the picture of ‘darling girl and helpful mom.’ Inside, I’m truly SCREAMING, “CAN! CAN! THE FREAKING WORD IS CAN! FORGODSSAKE JUST SPIT IT OUT AND MOVE ON!”

But I refrain and keep the peace…
She looks up at me with those huge blue eyes, so proud, and continues making a “k” sound, which is correct, but venturing to that “a” just takes so long. Then she says,  “k”… “a”… “k”… “a”…And all I can think is, “N! IT’S AN N! THE LAST EVER-LOVING SOUND IS N!”

Finally, she takes the great leap to  “k”… “a”… “k”… “a”…”N!” She looks up at me expectantly as if I should be doing a dance like when she pooped on the potty the first time but we’re not done yet!

“OK, honey, put all those sounds together and you get…?”

“k”… “a”… “k”… “a”…”N!”… “Can?”

‘YES! YES! YES! CAN! IT’S CAN! IT’S CAN!  Oh, honey, Mommy is so proud of you! Now, what’s the next word?’

“Rrrrrrr”…. “Rrrrrr”… “Rrrrr”….

Dave, honey?  Can you get me a glass of wine?