Ask me how to strap a giant whale to my minivan and drive 1600 miles home with it! I'll tell you how. Ask me to define the word sharing. It's different than what you might expect. Ask me how to get your child to learn there's more to life than pb&j. Wait, don't ask me that. Ask me what it's like to have an autistic child. I'll try to help you understand. Ask me to show you my Mom of the Year award! Oops, usually I'm out of the running for that about 10 minutes after getting out of bed.
Yet, it's all good. Sure, the paycheck is lost in the mail but I still wouldn't trade this life, quirks and all. In my posts, I'm hoping you'll find humor and honesty and that you'll be able to relate to my humble acceptance of motherhood's ups, downs and in betweens.
Welcome to my world!
Advice to New Moms (and/or Dads)
Ok Peeps…here’s the deal: what would I, after almost 9 years of parenting tell all new moms and dads? It’s crucial, because it will save you both time AND money (like, hundreds, maybe even thousands) so listen up…
Skip the goody bags.
If you have only one child that hasn’t reached the age of one and you haven’t experienced the pleasure AND expense of throwing a birthday party for your little darling, then probably that last statement doesn’t even make sense to you, “goody bag” isn’t even in your vocabulary yet.
Or maybe you kind of have an idea as to what I’m talking about but you scoff at the term “goody bag” and are thinking instead “party souvenir” and are already stitching away (at capes and tutus for the “prince and princess” party you are going to throw) or glue gunning away (at the mini scrapbook you are handing out to show all your child’s infant buddies in the year leading up to YOUR child’s birthday–hey, I’ve seen it done) or just simply acrylic painting a personalized beach bucket for 30 of your baby’s closest friends, complete with matching shovel, coordinating towel and some fake seashells for effect…guess what? Been there. Done that/seen that. And you know what? I still say…knock it off.
Ok, maybe do it for the first birthday. Of your first child. If you must. It’s kind of a rite of passage, I guess. And it makes us moms feel real good about ourselves. Clever. Original. Way more on the ball than anyone else in our playgroup. Pottery Barn catalog might be calling us for a photo shoot or something. But really, after that, you’re just screwing yourselves. Because4-5 years later, you are doing this…
Scrambling last minute on the one day you have nothing else to do before your now 4,5,6 on up’s birthday party. Which is now in itself costing you over $200 because it’s not just running loose in your house for an hour or so, it’s laser tag, or open gym, swimming, Chuck E. Cheese, Pump it Up, etc. It’s that PLUS the aforementioned “goody bag” that we’ve all (myself included, you bet) conditioned our kids to expect ON TOP OF the gigantic expense of entertaining them for two hours at places that charge $15.99 per kid.
I came up with the idea for this post the other day when I forked over $50 for a bunch of plastic cr-p to hand out at my son’s 7th birthday bash because I was convinced that an entire gymnastics facility to ourselves for 1 1/2 hours was not enough. I was suspicious that thought was ridiculous, however, and the point was driven home when a couple days after the party, I noticed that several bags of goodies had been left in my minivan. Unopened and unappreciated.
So skip the souvenirs, guys. Sage advice. Money saving, sanity saving, sage advice.
Thank you! I’ve been looking for someone to tell me it’s okay not to have “favors” at our parties. I hate getting them at other ppl’s parties (when was the last time you truely got something useful as a favor?), but was still somehow afraid that ppl would talk/be offended if I didn’t hand them some piece of crap to say thank you for coming at our parties.
Comment by Kris — January 27, 2009 @ 7:10 amSO true! One more tip, if I may- don’t open presents at the party. All the other kids get restless and jealous, and yor child usually latches on to the first thing they open and ignores the rest. To be honest, we’ve started stipulating NO presents and sticking to family gifts only- save lots of pressure, money and storage space. Thanks Hillary! It SO needed to be said!!!
Comment by Megan — January 27, 2009 @ 9:21 amHMMMM….. imagine making capes and tutus! What kind of idiot would do that???? Well, I would have been a little offended if I didn’t agree 100 (and 10%). So much so, that I haven’t had really much of a party since that beloved day and now instead like the quick answer, “Do you know how many ACTUAL birthday parties I had when I was a little girl????” It’s worked!
Comment by Jodie — January 28, 2009 @ 12:53 pmToo true… first of all, there is never the right amount of toys in a package so you end up having to buy extra just to have enough… and then nobody remembers to take them home! I recently spent $75 on favors and decorations for my grandson’s birthday. Half the favors were left on the porch when the party was over, mostly because they were broken. That $75 could have been better spent on a gift for him.
Comment by Jody — January 29, 2009 @ 1:45 pmOlder kids, however, are different. My youngest daughter, who hadn’t had a birthday party in over 5 years, wanted a ‘Japanese’ themed party. I bought some take-out boxes, filled them with fortune cookies, Japanese candy and snacks (cost me maybe $30 for 15 kids) and I won the title of ‘Coolest Mom on the Planet!’ Yeah, I can dig that!
Yeah, absolutely… skip those cheap themed party favors. If you want to do goodie bags, put together stuff you think kids of that age group would appreciate, don’t feel bound to cheap trinkets that match the table cloth and napkins. It’s a waste of money, and really… nobody likes them!
What would be wrong with giving a sticker book to each kid, and forget those tacky bags with junk inside? As a Grandma, I also wish to add my two cents worth concerning these elaborate birthday parties you young parents have for the kids. These days, most kids hsve waaaay too much stuff already! Birthday parties are setting some parents srents back by $200.00 or more, and it appears to me that these young parents (you know how you are) are competing with each other, trying to “one up” the parents who threw the last party your little one attended. Also, I agree 100% with the “no presents” policy. Just my opinion.
Comment by Bee — February 3, 2009 @ 3:18 pmBee, I am with you. I don’t know how it got started but it’s silly. In my opinion, it isn’t so much outdoing with the cost that is the motivator, it’s the need to be the most creative! I do think my generation of moms seems to be extremely competitive, and I admit to falling prey to it sometimes.
Comment by Hillary — February 7, 2009 @ 12:01 pmNew Year’s resolution of mine to quit that!
Thanks for reading.
My girlfriend calls that stuff “wee crappy” which is so true so I’ve pilfered that term! We’ve banned it too. Such a waste of money as if kids aren’t spoiled enough these days anyway.
Comment by Tracy — February 20, 2009 @ 7:30 pmmy babys first scrapbook…
MA! motherhood with attitude”Blog Archive ” Advice to New … is an excellent post about the my babys first scrapbook….
Trackback by my babys first scrapbook — November 25, 2009 @ 5:24 pm