1. With the introduction last year of earning allowance by doing weekend chores, it’s been easier for Zander, who is 6 years old, to grasp the concepts of committing to something.

   If we start an activity, they have to at least finish out the session (usually predetermined by the activity).

   I refuse to be taxi mom, so they can only do one activity at a time.

   I’ve heard that I must be kidding myself, but I will postpone it as long as I can.

   So far, they are young enough and close enough in age that I am still able to have them in the same activity, although usually in different classes.

   I’ve said that if he’s willing to give up his allowance to do another activity (of course this is all in principle, since he only makes $6 a week), we could look into doing another.

   But he is committed to saving up for a Nintendo DS, so anything else falls by the wayside when I ask for his allowance.

   I think it’s important for them to learn about commitment – particularly if there is equipment to buy!

   Comment by Maida — January 28, 2009 @ 1:42 pm

2. We only do one activity at a time, too. Thanks for these tips, Maida!

   Comment by Janalee — January 28, 2009 @ 1:57 pm

3. we’re not there yet, but I can see it on the horizon. It doesn’t sound like you’re being pushy, getting her to finish what she starts is a lesson she needs. Heck, it’s a lesson I need, can you lay it on the line for me, too?

   Comment by Megan — January 28, 2009 @ 4:59 pm

4. Maybe we should take away your $6/week allowance! :)

   Comment by Janalee — January 28, 2009 @ 6:06 pm

5. I’m all for making a kid finish something she’s started … a basketball season, an 8-week session of swimming lessons, etc. But how long is “long enough” for ballet?

   If you paid for a predetermined number of classes (e.g., a semester, 10 weeks, whatever), I’d make her finish them … with an explanation that you’ve paid for something, it’s important for her to finish what she started and you can’t waste the money. I think it’s unrealistic, though, to make her keep going indefinitely. If there’s a recital in the spring, maybe that would be a good cutoff point – again, with the explanation that she must give up ballet to start ice skating (or any other activity she wants to start).

   She’s still little, and is going to change her mind a million times about many things. In this case, I think she sees her sister having fun and just wants to share in that adventure. It’s not like she’s trying to quit because she’s not good at ballet, someone’s picking on her, etc., so I think it’s important to let her decide what she wants to do … the last thing you want is her resenting the class, teachers or you!

   My kids get two activities each, and whenever something new comes up they know they must choose. For instance, Dean takes karate and plays soccer. Well, at the beginning of the year there was a big push at school for boys to sign up for Cub Scouts. He came home all excited, telling me they meet after school, all his friends want to join, etc. It almost broke my heart when I reminded him of the two-activity rule and saw his little face. He was sooo disappointed – but after we talked, he understood there are only so many days in the week, so much money to spread around, etc.

   I had a similar experience recently with Ellie. She takes karate and swimming lessons. Her best friend (and I mean best – they are inseparable) started taking gymnastics and wants Ellie to sign up, too. It would be so much fun to have the girls in class together, and the mom and I could share carpooling duties … but there’s that 2-activity rule again. Ellie and I talked about this, and she decided that what she wants most in the world right now is to be ready to join swim team when she’s six (and she’s not willing to give up karate, either because it’s way too cool). So she, too, had to make a tough choice. Yes, she’s disappointed, but she’s getting the idea that “rules are rules.”

   I think I learned something valuable, too: That giving in to kids may be easiest, but we can teach them so much more by letting them make these small decisions. At this age, it’s great that they can take this “responsibility” when there’s a low risk of making the “wrong” choice!

   Comment by Kerry — January 28, 2009 @ 10:04 pm

6. There IS a recital this spring and the deadline to register is next week, so maybe I’ll have a conversation with her about sticking it out until then. Good idea!

   Comment by Janalee — January 29, 2009 @ 8:33 am

7. I always made my girls finish the ‘term’, whatever that was. Now, Hannah, she hated ballet,but she finished it! Complete with trying to strip off her costume at recital (no it is NOT on video, but to this day people who were there did not see anything BUT Hannah doing EVERYTHING but the dance!). Does your ballet school have a recital? Delaney would LOVE that, if you want her to continue, start talking recital, they are usually around May if you have one…really not that far away!
   Then tell her when dance is over, you will put her in ice skating…that really ballet HELPS ice skating because you are more graceful if you know ballet..that is true…ask ANY professional ice skater!!!
   My girls always only did 1 thing each, more was too much for me!!! full time job, 2 kids, activities….. UGH!!!! More would have broken me financially and physically.
   Lori

   Comment by Lori Ware — January 29, 2009 @ 10:45 am

8. Both activities can actually benefit the other and even at her age she should be able to maintain a commitment to both without too much trouble. My children have always juggled several music activities at once. At first I was concerned, especially considering the time and money involved, but choices they had made in the 5th grade are still in place today in high school. I would take her to the ice rink just to skate around, and later, if she is still interested in lessons, seriously consider it even if she is still taking ballet. There is a parallel between the two activities. Many professional ice skaters have taken ballet (even the guys!) to better themselves. What you DON’T want to do is to ignore a serious passion of your child. I did once, when my oldest son was 10 and wanted to play the violin. I didn’t let him because I couldn’t afford to invest in something that I didn’t think he was really interested in. The following year the instructor approached me and told me that she had never met a child so determined to learn and she offered to pay for his instument rental if I would let him play. He took to the violin like he was born to play. He went on to play football and wrestling, but he stuck with the violin. To this day his playing brings tears of pride to my eyes… and guilt for the one year I stole from him by not listening to his aspirations.
   Listen to your daughter, hear her out. Make a proposition. If, at the end of her ballet session she still wants ice skating lessons, let her take them. If she’s still interested in ballet as well and you can afford the time and $, let her take both classes. You’ll never know her potential until you let her explore it.

   Comment by Jody — January 29, 2009 @ 1:17 pm

9. I just love learning from moms who are ahead of me… my trailblazers! Thank you, Jody!

   Comment by Janalee — January 29, 2009 @ 2:34 pm

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