I mostly spend each day living in brief gulps from one moment to the next. In between tickle fights and time outs, I also sweat it out each day on the tightrope that is PPD and all its repercussions in my family, my health, my marriage and my sense of humor. Some days are good, some days only wish they could aspire to the high ranks of pond scum, but it's all part of my life. And it's all worth it.
Mack attack
There’s nothing like getting hit on by a sleazy 50-something party crasher to make a girl appreciate the innocence of staying home with kids.
“So,” he says, eyes slicking over me like an oil spill, “Are you a swimmer or a gymnast?”
Seriously? That’s your pick-up line? You go to the trouble of joining a company party where everyone knows each other and you stand out like a roach on a fancy dinner plate and that’s the best you can do? Sir, your subtlety is staggering.
I have to confess that I had no comeback. It’s been awhile since creepy guys tried to stand inside my bubble and look down my shirt. He went on to comment that I must work out and ask me for tips on how to do push-ups, as if I might drop to the ground right there with a demonstration. All the while he slowly inched forward, working his way to actually brushing against my arm. There was a time when I would have loudly told him to back the f*** off or he’d start losing limbs, but I have lost all those skills in a wave of home-bound and diaper-filled years.
Extricating me from the situation, one Kurt’s co-workers went up and pointedly asked him with whom he’d come to the party. What a shocker, Mr. Sleaze vanished in a miasma of booze and cheap cologne. While mostly amused, I did find myself wishing briefly for my mom uniform of t-shirt and jeans. The real world of adult conversation and corporate socializing is a fun side-line but turns out a life without barflies has its benefits, too.
On a side note, while several others saw the whole show and came to my rescue, Kurt was three feet behind me and totally oblivious. When we told him after the fact, my dear sweet husband came back with this gem.
“Hey, if I had been there, I’d have told him that not only are you a gymnast, you’re a naked gymnast at that!”
Thanks, sweetie.
Gotta love that husband of yours!!! Miss you!!
Comment by Juli — February 2, 2009 @ 1:07 pm-j
Want for that I should have a “training session” with your husband? I used to consciousness raising training in the 70s. Sounds like Kurt could use some.
Comment by GrandMem — February 9, 2009 @ 9:10 am