When Dave and I began dating back in 1998, he very quickly came to the conclusion that I was a mess. Not my life. My life was moving forward quite well with a great career, my own home, thriving social life. No, it was my inability to keep my clothes and body clean. (I’m a neat freak about my home. My clothes, on the other hand…)

We’d be out for coffee on a Saturday morning and I would emerge with coffee splatters on my sleeve, which I wore the rest of the day. We’d go on a hike and I’d manage to get mud on my butt though we hadn’t even seen water. We’d bike and I’d get grease spots all over my calves. On dinner dates, I’d wear my dinner home.

He nicknamed me his Grubby Girl.

Years passed, we got joyfully hitched, and we became parents. When I quit my ‘real career’ to freelance so that I could be home with the kids, the Grubby side of me truly emerged. Suddenly, I discovered the beauty of LIVING in my sweat pants! I wear makeup and hair products so infrequently that I still own the lipstick and hairspray that I used in my wedding (10 years ago this October). I grudgingly put on ‘real clothes’ (jeans) for big nights on the town, and I revel in weekends when I can wear a ball cap.

Yet, the sweet man still finds me attractive.

Now, I DO take care of myself; I eat well and exercise. And yes, I do like looking good for him sometimes when he comes home from work (ala those 50s magazine articles!), and I totally dig date nights when I can doll myself up and act like his hot girlfriend. But truly, I believe he loves the Grubby Girl in me as much as the rare vixen. That’s a good man.

And while I’m on the subject, here are a few more things I love about my husband:

• He’s hilarious. Like down-right, side-splitting, teary-eyed hilarious.
• He is handsome as all get-out.
• He’s a fixer guy! (That’s what the girls call him when he fixes stuff around the house.)
• He is passionate about justice and he puts his life where his passions lie. (Check out www.escuelaguadalupe.org to see what he does with his life)
• I’ve never met anyone more peaceful and steady. Never.
• He is an amazing father. Amazing. Inspiring, actually. He was made to do it.
• He can laugh at my most maddening habits without laughing at me.
• He brought to our marriage an incredible family that I now am honored to call my own.
• We share a relatively simple life, enjoying movies in the basement more than nights on the town. We just dig being together.
• And, he loves me completely!

This is quite saccharine for my blog, but it’s where I am this morning.

I’m quite lucky to be his Grubby Girl.

I have that. Nearly 4 years ago, I came upon a group of women who were all expecting babies in April of 2006. What started off as casual acquaintances on a public forum, turned into long lasting friendships with women whom I adore. After about a year of being together, a chunk of us broke away from the public board and formed our own private forum, a community where we could share our lives, our families, our triumphs, and our troubles. It is a place that we go to share news, large and small; where we can celebrate milestones; from baby’s first word, to buying your first home.

We have ladies all over the country; from California to Chicago, from Texas to Tennessee, from New York to New Orleans… and so many places in between. We have a Lawyer, a Scientist, a Veterinarian, a Teacher, a Chef, an Accountant and many many more. There are Stay at home Moms, and Work at Home Moms, and every other kind of mom. There is always someone “there” when you need them, and they are warm, and kind and full of advice and friendship.

I could share countless stories about the strength of our community, and of our friendships, but that would take forever. However, there are a few testaments that come to mind, that really drive the point home. When one of the girls was struggling through her second pregnancy, and was placed on bed rest, another girl flew from St. Louis to Virginia with her 2 year old son, to help her. While she was there (for 2 weeks I believe), she cooked and cleaned and above all, showed her friendship.

Once when a new baby was welcomed to the board, we were all struck with fear when she was admitted into the NICU. She was full-term and a good size. She should have been home with her family. Her mother struggled to split her time between being home with her twin toddlers, and her new baby in the hospital. Before long the emotional and financial strain became too much. We did the only thing we could do from our separate corners of the country. We pooled money together and sent it to her for gas and food and any other thing that could have made those days even the tiniest bit easier.

I have had the pleasure of meeting many of these women in real life, and let me tell you, they are even more wonderful in person. I have never laughed as hard as I have with these women, or because of them. The stories that they share, some are incredibly funny, and some are just down right crude, but we laugh and laugh!

I have also cried for my friends. Some have experienced losses that are unimaginable. They have lived through the fears that every mother has had, and they survived. They share their angels with us, and trusted us with their stories. I treasure each and every one of them.

The one thing we all have in common is Motherhood. We understand and appreciate the ups and downs, the fears, and the struggles. We are beyond moms… we are friends and sisters. I am blessed to have them in my life.

The other evening my youngest darlin’, Eva, said “hey, momma, my toof is loose, watch THIS” and proceeded to completely gross me out by wiggling her baby tooth in the socket.  It was hanging by a mere thread.  (Even though I’ve been through this almost 30 times before, whenever my kids have a wiggly tooth, I get a serious case of the ‘heebie-jeebies’!)  Once I picked myself up off the floor, I ventured a look and noticed a bare spot next to her loose tooth.

“Where’s your other tooth, honey?”

“WHHHAAAATTTTTT??”

A meltdown ensued.  Eva presumed the tooth fairy wouldn’t visit her since she had no idea she’d even lost the other tooth, and most likely, she swallowed it, and I sure as heck wasn’t going to retrieve it.

“I wannnt the toof-fewy to visit me, and now she won’t!!!!!!!!!!” *SNIFF*

I calmly assured her that I’ve written quite a few excuse-notes to the tooth fair over the years.  Her sister had swallowed two, and dropped one in the yard trying to show it to a neighbor (our neighbors LOVE us, have I mentioned that?). 

Eva and I wrote a very polite note to the T-Fairy, and we put it under her pillow.  The next morning, voila!, Eva had a crispy-new dollar bill under her pillow and a pack of gum (that she didn’t like, harrumph). 

A few days later Eva was wriggling the second tooth again at the dinner table.  (Have I mentioned I don’t need a diet when I have children at home?)  Her brother says “eewwww, Eva, just yank it out already!”  Eva took a bite of her dinner and less than a minute later she is once more in meltdown mode:

“I SWALLOWED MY TOOF AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Turning your children loose at carnival games with the idea that they will go amuse themselves for a few minutes so that you can sit on your a$$ and breathe easy for the first time in your Disney/Sea World vacay may result in this…

Which then leads to this…

And also this (once you realize that it isn’t wise to drive 1600 miles at 85mph with a giant whale strapped to your car)…

and then ultimately this…(this last shot being in my living room)

A couple of weeks ago, my co-worker had a little get together at her house. I had a great time, but when I got home, at 11pm, the girls were still awake!! I couldnt believe it! They have never stayed up past 8:30 in their lives. We live by a strict 8pm bedtime, I was stunned! I asked Aaron what the Hell he was thinking. He told me that they were upset that I wasnt home and couldnt sleep. Of course I felt gulity, so I just dropped it. It took me a full 30 minutes to scrape them off of the ceiling and beg them into bed. I hadnt given it much thought beyond that night, until Saadia brought it up last night. As I was tucking her into bed she said, “Mommy, When you were at your friends house, Daddy forgot to put us to sleep.” I said, “Really?” and she replied “Yes, thats cuz he was sleeping on the couch watching tv.” Then she closed her eyes and turned over. She had no idea that she just got Daddy BUSTED!!!