Ask me how to strap a giant whale to my minivan and drive 1600 miles home with it! I'll tell you how. Ask me to define the word sharing. It's different than what you might expect. Ask me how to get your child to learn there's more to life than pb&j. Wait, don't ask me that. Ask me what it's like to have an autistic child. I'll try to help you understand. Ask me to show you my Mom of the Year award! Oops, usually I'm out of the running for that about 10 minutes after getting out of bed.
Yet, it's all good. Sure, the paycheck is lost in the mail but I still wouldn't trade this life, quirks and all. In my posts, I'm hoping you'll find humor and honesty and that you'll be able to relate to my humble acceptance of motherhood's ups, downs and in betweens.
Welcome to my world!
Boys, Boys, Boys
The following are frequent comments hurled at me and my boys when we’re out together…
1. “Oh My! Three boys. Mom, you sure have your hands full!”
2. “Oh, poor Mom. You sure drew the short end of the stick, didn’t you?”
3. “All those boys…I don’t know how you do it.”
4. “Here comes trouble!”
5. “So how many times a day do you want to kill yourself?”
OK, OK, that last one I’ve only heard ONE time but I think it’s worth a spot on the list of Comments Made about Boys…and trust me, I doubt that person will ever say that to anyone again. Usually, I just kind of smile or laugh along, as if I’ve never heard any of this before and how clever of someone to point out, like for the 5,000th time that yes, I do indeed have three boys. #5, though, I found incredibly offensive, especially because it was spoken in the presence of my three boys, two of whom were old enough to understand the meaning behind the words. I said something like, “What a horrible thing to say in front of my boys!” The person, a woman, by the way, and probably a mom to SOMEBODY, got the point and had nothing else to say, and if she walked away feeling more than a little dumb, then I feel more than a little satisfied.
Why does everyone assume that all boys are homicidal maniacs? Why does everyone assume that I am or should be disappointed that I don’t have a daughter? Why does everyone assume that my life would be easier with three girls or at least one girl?
Actually, what I want to know is…does this happen to other moms? Other moms of boys? Other moms of three girls? Other moms of three kids, mixed genders? Other moms of any number of kids? Dads with three girls? I’m curious.
Your thoughts please…
I hear, “Oh my, two little girls! You’ve got your hands full!” Or “WOW! Two girls, just wait til they hit puberty!” (seriously, I hear that one all that time. why a stranger thinks talking about my child’s sexual development is funny and casual, I will never know.)
Mostly, though, I have older ladies smile, tell my they’re pretty, and then say that they used to have little girls and I should enjoy it while it lasts.
I’m not sure what the pubic peanut gallery thing is about, but I try not to do anything but smile at other moms when I’m out. if their kids are having a meltdown, I add a little sympathy to that smile (“we’ve all been there”) and move on.
By the way, Hillary- Gee! Three boys! you’ve sure got you work cut out for you!
Comment by Megan — April 20, 2009 @ 9:08 amNo, I don’t get that about my two boys just ’cause they’re boys. I get “I thought my boys were active until I saw yours” and “Boy, they sure are active, aren’t they?” Yeah, they are, thanks for noticing. They’re also exhausting and challenging on the easiest day. BUT, the active and challenging ones change the world, so shut your trap Mr./Ms. Stranger Who Doesn’t Know My Kids, and just you wait…in 20 years these two boys will change the world.
Comment by jen — April 20, 2009 @ 11:09 amLOL! Can you tell this hits a nerve? LOL
I hear it ALL the time. The same way people assume that having all boys is bad, they assume that having twins is bad, then add a baby close in age and people think Im nuts!! I am… but not because of my children… well not completely because of them. LOL. People are rude and out spoken. I find myself on the defensive quite often. But then there is always some sweet old lady to come along, and tell me how blessed I am, just at the moment I need to hear it the most.
Comment by Geri — April 20, 2009 @ 11:25 amOh yes I hear the – “oh wow – three girls – that’s going to be fun in 10 years” or “oh my you have three girls – what does your husband think of that?” I so badly want to say sometime “oh crap – I have three girls. There is supposed to be a fourth around here somewhere. Have you seen her?” or “yes i have three and we really don’t want the third because we thought she might be a boy. Do you know of anyone who might want her?” Of course my girls are obviously with me on these occasions and saying either of these two things might put them over the edge so I nod and smile and just keep on moving.
Comment by Jami — April 20, 2009 @ 3:15 pmI’m sure you do get it b/c of the twins. And when my first two were little (they’re 18 months apart), people were ALWAYS questioning me like “why the heck would anyone DO that?”
Comment by Hillary — May 11, 2009 @ 4:59 pmGlad to know there are others out there! I have always joked that I must have a sign on my head that says “Please let me know what you think of my life!”