Ask me how to strap a giant whale to my minivan and drive 1600 miles home with it! I'll tell you how. Ask me to define the word sharing. It's different than what you might expect. Ask me how to get your child to learn there's more to life than pb&j. Wait, don't ask me that. Ask me what it's like to have an autistic child. I'll try to help you understand. Ask me to show you my Mom of the Year award! Oops, usually I'm out of the running for that about 10 minutes after getting out of bed.
Yet, it's all good. Sure, the paycheck is lost in the mail but I still wouldn't trade this life, quirks and all. In my posts, I'm hoping you'll find humor and honesty and that you'll be able to relate to my humble acceptance of motherhood's ups, downs and in betweens.
Welcome to my world!
I’ll Be Back Later
I could probably be considered a vain person.
I typically don’t like to be seen in public without making an attempt at looking fierce, whether or not I actually accomplish that goal is a matter of opinion, yet at least I’ve tried. I’m often asked, “What are you so dressed up for?” when the reality is, I’ve been doing nothing all day, I just wanted to wear cute clothes instead of my yoga pants and sneakers. Even when I AM wearing yoga pants and sneakers, usually I’m also wearing makeup and have styled my hair, lest anyone think I just rolled out of bed. I’m not fanatic about my body, but I exercise and watch what I eat when I need to.
I just feel better when I put myself together. The downside of that is that to put myself together usually takes about an hour (two if it’s a workout day) which means that there’s an hour out of my life that could have been spent doing something more productive.
This summer, I’ve let myself go. To an extent, anyway. The exercise and diet still remain a priority, as there is a Ghost of Chubby Adolescent Past inside me that I don’t want to see again in the mirror. Ever. Other than that, I’m pretty much slacking off in the personal appearance department.
Yes, I shower. Most of the time, anyway. I won’t deny that there are a few times when that shower occurred at the endof the day but those are usually days when a shower would have been pointless to begin with. But my attire? Hmmm…hardly Project Runwayworthy. I seem to have two pairs of shorts that I alternate from day to day, or maybe a swim cover up or something like that. My husband and I ran an 8K at the end of May and the best thing to come out of that was a blue T Shirt that I will admit to once wearing to bed AND halfway through the next day. Makeup? Forget it. What’s the point if you’re going to end up at the swimming pool or beach or watching your sons’ summer activities in 95 degree heat? My hair? Well, let’s just say that I’m trying really hard to grow it long (for like the 100th time in my life) and I’ve discovered that the less I mess with it and the less I look at it in the mirror, the easier it is to ignore and just let it grow, already. This means a lot of baseball caps. I finally have enough of it that if I use a really wide headband, I can form some type of ponytail but it ain’t Paris Hilton’s stylish little nub, trust me. Sometimes I’ll even confess to just getting the hair wet and then letting it dry on it’s own. The woman that cuts my hair calls this the “Summer, beach-y look” and claims it’s tres chic right now but I’m pretty sure the results I get when I do this are not going to be featured in In Style magazine anytime soon.
I have to admit, this sloth existence that I’ve created for myself this summer has been pretty liberating. It’s one less thing that takes up time in my day. Like I said, it frees up an hour to do something worthwhile, whether that’s housekeeping or getting my kids to their activities without rushing and screaming “Hurry up, we’re running late!!!” when it’s my fault we’re running late in the first place. I’ve also found that on days when I do make the effort, I avoid tasks that might wreck the fruits of that effort.
My husband has never said a negative word about the transformation that has taken over his formerly vain wife, yet who could deny him if he were to express concern over where that person has gone and will she ever return? I mean, this is a man who has mentioned many many times that while he believes it will be my flat iron that eventually kills me, he does dig the results that it gives.
Not to worry, Dearest, because as I call it liberating, it’s also temporary. There’s a pang of failure I feel at the end of the day when once again, I neglected to pull it together. And today, as I write this, I’m fully groomed, hair straightened and glossed, full makeup, jewelry even, and you know what, I feel good. I have a clarity that I don’t have on days when I haven’t made any personal appearance effort and whether this is right or wrong, I feel as though I have more of a purpose (however, I will NOT be going out to vacuum out the minivan like I’d planned. Then I’d have to start all over again and I can only do this once a day for sure!) I’m not saying I’d win any Hot Mom contest, but if I were forced to enter such a thing, I’d definitely do it today rather than yesterday, when I showed up to my sons’ baseball game with hair that had been intimate with a thunderstorm earlier in the day.
So while I’ve let myself go this summer, I have full plans to get myself back in the fall. That’s when my boys go back to school and I’ll have more time to devote to my old self. I look forward to reclaiming my vanity.
Until then, it can collect dust next to my lip gloss and uncomfortable but chic shoes.
