I am the writer/owner of ‘MA! motherhood with attitude.’ The artist/owner of our company, Tiffany, will add her two cents on this blog now and then, as well. Tiffany and I often talk about the struggle to earn a buck through our freelancing as we also try to make the ‘MA! dream’ come true. Our mission is to expose ‘perfect parenting propaganda’ for what it is: hogwash! We adore imperfect parents (and embrace the fact that we are among them.)Not Starting Over; Starting Anew
Since finding out on May 27 that Dave and I were apparently meant to have THREE children and not the TWO I had assumed, I’ve often said, “We’re starting all over!” My girls will be 6 and 8 when this baby joins our family and I have focused on the fact that we are returning to diapers, breast feeding and long nights. We’ll be anchored to the house again by naps. Not to mention…
- The transition to solids
- Crawling
- Walking
- Once again removing all the breakable and unsafe objects from our home, which we finally felt looked “grown up” again
- Teaching the ABCs and colors and numbers again
- Potty training
- The Terrible Twos (threes, fours…)
- The list, of course, goes on. I’m sure many of you could help flesh this out a bit
And yet, lately, I have also been thinking about what I will not have to re-learn. Though we are going back to the beginning with a new baby, we are not starting out with a clean slate. For example…
- I know how to fight the isolation of new motherhood. I will not sit in my home alone, wondering what other mothers do when those hard afternoon hours roll around. I’m seasoned. I know to reach out and get out.
- I won’t clean nonstop. When my first daughter was born and I decided to stay home, I fought like hell to keep the kitchen clean, the toys picked up, the home presentable. Now, I know better. My sanity is more valuable than household presentability.
- I won’t shower every day. Ridiculous concept.
- I will accept help when it is offered and I will shrug off any mommy guilt associated with that acceptance.
- I will demand and create time for myself. The first time around, I didn’t know how to balance the needs of my family with my own needs. It took time, but I do not intend to slide backward and lose myself again.
- And, perhaps most beautifully, I will not try to do everything “right.” I know there is no such thing and, I believe, this baby will be better for my imperfections than if I attempted to follow “perfect parenting” books and the magazine article to-do lists. This baby and I will wallow in joyful moments, especially the UN-teachable joyful moments!
I must confess, though, that there is one thing that I dread. Not the diapers, the formula or the long nights. Those I understand. Those I can even enjoy. No… I dread going back to birthday parties for two-year-olds in which parents invite everyone on the planet and I am expected to STAY for the frivolity. I have SO graduated from that chaos, dropping my girls off for parties and picking them up two hours later. No, birthday invitations will be handled differently with this child. I will kindly RSVP “no” to them all until my child is actually CONSCIOUS of what birthdays mean.
Besides, who wants to hang out with a bunch of new parents? They can be SO exhausting!
