I know a place where all civility is thrown out the window. I know a place where a person can lose his life if he isn’t careful. I know a place where one can find some serious bad manners and road rage in action.

The school parking lot.

I’ve got to tell you, if you want to say that you have finally seen it all, you really need to experience the insanity that are the 15 minutes of dropping off and picking up of elementary school children from the parking lots of such schools. Just a few examples I’ve witnessed over the years…

Honking, gesturing and yelling “COME ON!” at a car who has stopped to wait for two third graders to use the crosswalk.

Parking in the handicapped space because it’s the one closest to the front door and therefore, the shortest distance to walk with a fourth grader’s science project.

Squealing of tires to prove that YOU are the one most in a hurry here, that’s why you had to go around the bus, even though its lights were flashing and the stop sign was activated.

And those are just a few! There are so many more I could mention! So could the principal–he just recently sent home his annual memo of “Parking Lot Helpful Hints” which really is an open plea for everyone to act like adults and follow basic rules of traffic courtesy and safety.

I am not trying to sound self righteous here. As an impatient person myself and also someone who often is running late, I can relate to the feelings of helplessness and urgency that the school parking lot can bring out. And my sons’ school? Has almost 700 students and quite possibly THE shortest/smallest space allotted for the drop off/pick up ritual. It has forced many of us to get pretty creative about how we are going to extract our children from the building in a safe manner yet still have them home before dark, or get them to school by the bell’s ring without having them flattened by someone who needed to be somewhere, like 5 minutes ago. It’s tough to do. 700 kids. One driveway.

Actually, recently, I finally got smart and just skipped the whole thing altogether. No, I didn’t sign my kids up for the overnight plan at the school, I just quit picking them up from the lot. I parked my car on one of the (very) nearby side streets and waited for the two of them to walk down the hill, cross the street with the crossing guard and then find my car amongst several other silver minivans (obviously, I’m not the only mom who’s figured out how to beat the system).

This was going very well until Ryan had the nerve to break his foot last weekend, meaning that I can’t really expect him to hobble all the way from his classroom to my off campus stakeout.

So for the next 3 weeks, I’ll be navigating the war zone once again. Back in the trenches.

Wish me luck. And kindly get outta my way!

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