I just finished reading Dear Abby this morning. One topic today was special needs children. She, at the request of a reader, printed a poem which suggested that God selects very special people to be parents of special needs children.
Well, that isn’t me.
I’ve heard that argument before. It’s one of those statements that people make to me all the time. In fact, I think I’ve posted about this previously. “God chose you because He knew you were extra special and would take care of that special boy.”
And, me being me, never lacking in the smart ass response department, I usually come back with something like, “Well then, He and I are going to have a long talk someday.”
Because that isn’t me.
I’m not patient, I’m the opposite of patient! Google “impatient” and my face will be at the top of the page! Trust me, I’m the first to fly off the handle. I used be more that way before Adam was born. OK, I will admit to being better about this now. I mean, there’s just a lot I’ve learned to let go. But before that, I was way more quick tempered and high strung. So why would God choose me?
I had no background in or experience with special needs children! In fact, I always said autism would be the one thing I’d never be able to handle! I think I said that out loud more than once! Of course, now I know that I can handle this. In fact, I now know that I can handle a lot of things that I always said I never could. But before Adam came along, I wasn’t so strong. So why would God choose me?
Before Adam, I was self absorbed. Superficial. Vain. I still am, I won’t deny it, but not as much as I was before Adam. So why oh why would God look upon me to be the one to guide this child, to take on this challenge, to step out of my selfish little world? What was He thinking?
I’m not special! I’m not strong! I don’t have an understanding of how to overcome serious challenges! I don’t have an open heart and mind!
At least, I didn’t used to, before Adam was born.
Maybe He knew what He was doing after all.